Definition
Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior used by one person to gain or maintain power and control over another person with whom they share an intimate, family, or household relationship. It encompasses physical violence, sexual abuse, emotional and psychological harm, threats, stalking, and financial control. Because it touches both public safety and family relationships, domestic violence is addressed by criminal law, which can lead to arrest and prosecution, and by civil law, which provides protective orders and other remedies for victims.
Legal Meaning
In a legal sense, "domestic violence" is less a single offense than an umbrella concept that triggers special rules across several areas of law. There is no single nationwide definition; instead, each state defines the relationships and conduct its domestic violence laws cover, and those definitions vary widely. As a general matter, the laws apply when the parties share a qualifying relationship—current or former spouses, dating partners, co-parents, family members, or people living in the same household—and when one of them commits or threatens abusive conduct against the other.
The conduct that qualifies extends well beyond hitting. Most statutes reach physical abuse, sexual assault and coercion, threats and intimidation, stalking and harassment, and the destruction of property meant to instill fear. A growing number of states also recognize emotional, psychological, and financial abuse—such as isolating a partner from family, controlling all the money, or using immigration status as a threat—as part of a recognized pattern of "coercive control." Whether a particular act qualifies, and what proof is required, depends on the governing state statute.
Because the same incident can be both a crime and the basis for civil protection, two legal tracks often run in parallel. On the criminal side, the state prosecutes offenses like assault, battery, or violating a protective order, and the prosecutor—not the victim—controls whether charges proceed. On the civil side, the victim can petition a court directly for a protective or restraining order and may also raise the abuse in divorce, custody, or other family proceedings.
Key Points
- Domestic violence covers physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, and financial abuse, not only physical harm
- Definitions of qualifying relationships and conduct vary significantly from state to state
- The same conduct can lead to criminal charges and a separate civil protective order at the same time
- In criminal cases the state, not the victim, decides whether to prosecute and whether to drop charges
- Protective and restraining orders can require no contact, stay-away distances, removal from a shared home, and firearm surrender
- Violating a protective order is itself a separate criminal offense
- A documented history of abuse heavily influences child custody and visitation decisions
- Confidential national and local hotlines and shelters provide free, immediate help to victims
Real-World Example
Maria's partner has repeatedly threatened her, taken control of the household bank accounts, and on one occasion shoved her against a wall. After the physical incident, a neighbor calls the police, and the responding officers arrest her partner; the local prosecutor later files a criminal battery charge that the state will pursue regardless of whether Maria wants it dropped.
Separately, Maria goes to the courthouse and petitions for a protective order. A judge grants a temporary order the same day requiring her partner to stay away from her home and workplace and to surrender any firearms, then schedules a hearing for a longer-term order. The criminal case and the protective order proceed on independent tracks, and the abuse may also become relevant if Maria later files for divorce or seeks custody.
Common Forms of Domestic Abuse
| Type of Abuse | Examples | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Physical | Hitting, choking, shoving, restraining, denying medical care | Most commonly charged criminally as assault or battery |
| Sexual | Coerced or forced sexual activity, reproductive coercion | May be charged as a separate sexual offense |
| Emotional / Psychological | Threats, humiliation, isolation, constant criticism | Recognition as a standalone basis varies by state |
| Financial / Economic | Controlling all money, sabotaging employment, hiding assets | Increasingly recognized as coercive control |
| Stalking / Harassment | Following, repeated unwanted contact, GPS tracking | Often a separate crime and grounds for a protective order |
| Digital | Monitoring devices, sharing intimate images, online threats | Many states now address image-based abuse by statute |
Protective and Restraining Orders
A civil protective order—called a restraining order, order of protection, or domestic violence injunction depending on the state—is the most common legal tool for victims seeking immediate safety. The process generally has two stages. First, a court can issue an emergency or temporary order on short notice, sometimes the same day and without the abuser present, based only on the victim's sworn account. Second, the court holds a hearing where both sides can appear, after which it may grant a longer-term order lasting months or years.
Depending on the state, an order can direct the abuser to have no contact, stay a set distance away, move out of a shared residence, refrain from possessing firearms, and follow temporary custody or support arrangements. Federal law gives many such orders "full faith and credit," meaning a valid order issued in one state is generally enforceable in others. Because violating a protective order is a separate crime, these orders give police clear authority to act on a new contact even when no other offense has occurred. To learn how these orders are issued and enforced, see our companion term on the restraining order.
Related Terms
Talk to a Family Law Attorney
If you are facing abuse or need a protective order, a family law attorney can help you understand your options and your safety
Explore Family Law HelpWhen You Need a Lawyer
You do not need a lawyer to request a protective order, and courts provide forms and self-help resources for that purpose. Even so, professional help can make a meaningful difference, especially when children, shared property, or a parallel criminal case are involved. You should strongly consider consulting an attorney if:
- You want a long-term protective order and the abuser is contesting it at the hearing
- The abuse arises alongside a divorce, custody, or support dispute
- You have been accused of domestic violence and face criminal charges or a protective order
- You fear for your safety and need help building a safety plan with relocation or custody
- Your immigration status, employment, or housing is being used as a tool of control
Many domestic violence organizations and legal aid offices provide free or low-cost representation, and victim advocates can help you navigate both the court system and available services.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is domestic violence a crime or a civil matter?
Domestic violence can be both. The state can file criminal charges such as assault, battery, stalking, or violation of a protective order, prosecuted by a district attorney. Separately, a victim can pursue civil remedies, most commonly a protective or restraining order, and may also raise the abuse in divorce, custody, or personal injury proceedings. The two tracks proceed independently, so a criminal acquittal does not bar civil relief.
Does domestic violence only mean physical abuse?
No. While physical violence is the most visible form, most state definitions also reach emotional and psychological abuse, threats and intimidation, stalking and harassment, sexual coercion, and financial or economic control. The exact conduct that qualifies varies by state, and some statutes require an act or threat of physical harm while others recognize a broader pattern of coercive control.
What is the difference between a protective order and a restraining order?
The terms are often used interchangeably, but the labels and procedures differ by state. Many states issue an emergency or temporary order quickly, sometimes without the abuser present, followed by a hearing for a longer-term order. Orders can require the abuser to stay away, stop all contact, leave a shared home, and surrender firearms. Violating any such order is itself a separate crime.
Can I get a protective order without filing for divorce?
Yes. A protective order is a standalone request that does not require you to file for divorce or any other case. You can seek one whether or not you are married to the abuser, and many statutes also cover dating partners, former partners, family members, and household members. You can later pursue divorce or custody separately if you choose.
How does domestic violence affect child custody?
Courts weigh a history of domestic violence heavily when deciding custody because the child's safety and best interests are the controlling standard. Many states have a legal presumption against awarding custody to an abusive parent, and a court may order supervised visitation, no contact, or completion of a batterer's intervention program before unsupervised time is allowed.
State-Specific Information
Domestic violence definitions, protective order procedures, and custody presumptions differ from state to state. For related family law deadlines and processes, see our state guides: